CNN's Anderson Cooper talks with Brianna Keilar and John Berman about the latest episode of his "All There Is" podcast and his learning about anticipatory grief. #CNN #News
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Sometimes it’s harder for those around people with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Those affected often go to a happy place mentally and this is where you learn that letting go is an act of love too.
People don’t understand what it’s like on the care givers and family. It’s an experience that is so hard and at times frustrating. My father in law (most of his family too) get early onset and he died at 49. His aunt was 52 and cousin 47 and 55. To watch someone so young go through that is devastating. We always donate to the care givers and family’s bc we know what they are going through. ❤️
Ps. My husband and his sister don’t carry the gene so they won’t get it. He is 61 and his sister 58❤️❤️
Losing someone to Alzheimer’s is heartbreaking in so many ways, in so many stages. Saying goodbye to my grandmother before I flew back home to the states was hard. Having her call me the next day and inviting me over for dinner the next day and having to say goodbye to all over again over the phone was like a knife to my heart. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a loved one.
I’m losing my childhood kitty to cancer and I was really hurting at the shock of it, and I had never heard of anticipatory grief before but after learning about it I know it is possible to use that time to heal preemptively too. To anyone who is stuggling with this, please look for therapy or group grief meetings! They really helped me..
I’m loosing my dad to a stroke.And I had never heard of anticipatory grief.But now I know about it.And I feel like it was meant for me to hear that.
I cried watching this interview. This is such a painful topic.
“The long goodbye” is the best description of it, for me. It’s been crushing. Every day I try to rehydrate my resolve, hope, joy, so as not to lose myself entirely in the slow loss.
I hear you, I am living this now.
I witnessed up close several times people with dementia as they fell in and out of periods of lucidity. The periods of clearly knowing what was happening to them has to be the the scariest and saddest part of their own anticipatory grief for their own inevitable soon to be end of life, knowing the role thrust upon them and caregivers and family and other loved ones. So many get the curse of grieving before they progress to later stages, when we only can speculate what they’re aware of, or not.
Each day is a gift.
Love while you can.
This is what I believe. I completely resonate with everything Anderson is saying. It’s been my experience so far and I feel like it’s preparing me to deal with my own mortality as well.
❤
Alzheimer’s is a horrible, horrible thing. I watched my Mother’s suffering, I could not begin to imagine what was in her mind. I recall her hitting herself in the head and asking “why is my head sick”? To anyone that has a loved one that is slipping away grasp on to every moment you have with them🙏and God bless!
Heartbreaking to say the least….Losing a loved one to this disease is the hardest way to see them dying little by little…..May God Protect us all from this disease…. and May she Rest in Peace……..
My mother was the same way
She was such a strong lady
And she had real talent for cooking and baking
But she had lost all that before she was ready to leave her house and her family
And then we had to go through the service to let others say good bye
There is nothing good about watching someone who has this terrible Disease
I remember a few times when she would make her way to the kitchen and she would sit and watch and tell me
I do it just like you
I would smile and tell her she was doing it right
Sometimes she would want a hug and I always tried to give her one
I miss those days with her
It’s tough losing someone you love .. especially while you taking care of them. 😢
4 sure.
I love Anderson. He’s so incredibly genuine and grounded and is so compassionate and caring. He has suffered many losses and regardless of his family wealth, he remains the most caring and loving father, friend, and person. You can’t fake being a decent, honorable soul…
He seems like a great person 💯
I like when he was standing in the puddle
I totally agree with you. A remarkable person.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😜
I would go further… He shkuld be sainted.
Such a touching story, AC is one of my favorite and trusted journalists. It brought back memories of my father who after a stroke slowly declined over an 18-month period to a vegetative state before he died. I was only 11 years then but I will never forget the confusion, frustration, and helplessness during that time and many years since then
My only sister who was my ‘big sister’ in every good way. Five years older than I she was at first my protector and later my dear friend. We lost her to dementia (frontal lobe dementia) about six years ago and the process (over about four years) were the hardest years of my life. It was agonizing.
As someone who has lost a friend to familial Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, I can sympathise with what Anderson is going through – it’s utterly horrible to watch somebody you care about losing their faculties and, ultimately, dying from these horrible diseases…
I’d never heard of anticipatory grief before either. He didn’t die of Alzheimer’s but I watched him go into surgery after surgery and watched him get worse and worse for sixteen years. Six years after his passing, I’m still affected by it. I always have thought of it as a particularly unique and devastating kind of PTSD.
I understand this grief all so well as my beloved mother is in the last stages of Alzheimer’s currently. She was a teacher, highly intelligent, a published writer and so much more talents I could go on and on. But mostly she was my best friend who I now haven’t had a decent conversation with for 2 years and the pain is unbearable at times. The worse part is I know this was her biggest fear of growing old and getting this slow dragged out incredibly sad disease. A vibrant positive and healthy woman otherwise to be brought down like this is really tough on the people who knew her and loved her. Thank you Anderson for sharing your story. ❤
I could have have written what you just did. My family is in the exact same situation. Blessings to you and your mom.
Feel for Anderson. My mother is going through that right now. We put her a nursing home for 30 day’s, and then we brought her back home because there are enough of us children to care for her. We rotate the days, she was an unbelievably a great mother, unlike any mother I have ever seen. Nobody comes close to her. I’m sure Anderson felt or feels the same about his mom. Know that people care and liked her a lot, even my mom liked her.
My husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma – GBM after having a stroke that left him with cognitive decline and aphasia. We were still newlyweds when this happened. Learning there was no cure and he’d likely be dead within the next two years is where I learned the excruciating pain of participatory grief. A therapist described it perfectly in my case I was not only grieving the life we had just established together and the loss of many of his abilities (to walk, talk, reason well) but the loss of our future life together. I cried so much over those 19 months even as we found ourselves a new normal and a deeper love for each other. We weren’t married for very long but it was equal to decades of married life. I cried oceans of tears both loud and silent over that year and a half. All this happened many years ago now but I don’t think I will ever feel anticipatory grief again nor do I want to inflict it on anyone else.
My mother is in early dementia and the change in her already is heartbreaking. She is as sweet as ever but when the confusion sets in and conversation is difficult unless I bring up her home state of Kentucky and I tell her stories, that she told me when I was a child, back to her, she relaxes and listens with delight. I am already missing her. This was very helpful.